Posts Tagged ‘yahoo personals


7 random things meme

Here you go Jenn!

  1. I am working on finding a new roommate. I am currently corresponding with two likely prospects from online ads, both women in their 20’s who are pursuing advanced degrees, either one of which sounds like a good personality fit to live with me. I’m kind of relieved, because before I got to this point, the only person I’d talked to was St. For reference here is a sample of St’s ad:

    Looking to rent a room in a two bedroom apt or home. I’m a professional seeking to room with a female. I have referances and a great job. Going to school as well.

    Short but sweet. Has a spelling error but nobody’s perfect. Now – pretend you are me – based on this ad, what gender would you say this person is? Well, if you said male then you are not pretending to be me all that well, but you would be correct. (I would like to take this moment to point out that I have no real objection to rooming with a guy, but I am much more likely to do it if he is someone I know well or has been recommended to me, as I have a rather small house and only one bathroom.) I responded to the ad, described a little about my house and myself, and when St replied with an obviously male name, I told him I was a little uncomfortable with living with a guy I didn’t know. And here, for your enjoyment, are some excerpts from his reply (emphasis mine):

    I’m currently living with a female now… Living here has been great. My house mate takes care of everything. The only thing she has asked me to do is keep the tub clean and do my dishes, which I always do, and lock the doors when I leave. I shouldn’t want to leave, but I want to live closer to (hippie neighborhood) area. And I would like to talk to my housemate for more than 5 minutes in a weeks time. My housemate is currently working on her (advanced degree) So it’s understandable that she doesn’t have time to talk, but I’ve lived here for a year and I feel she still is not comfortable living with me. I’m the first male she has lived with as a housemate. I’ve asked if I could do anything for her like any fixing that needs to done around the house. She doesn’t say no but she doesn’t ask me to do anything for her either. She is a monk and goes by Sister (hippie name). She is religious and I’m not that much. Which I think might makes her feel uncomfortable. I don’t go to church, but I also don’t drink, do drugs, or smoke. I have paid on time every time. She currently lives as a minimalist. She doesn’t like to have to many things. I would like a washer dryer to do my clothes and a stove for cooking. Don’t get me wrong I knew all this before I started living here, I guess it’s getting to me. I haven’t had anyone over. I spend most of my time out at coffee houses reading.

    Now. My question for St is, why the hell did you move in with this woman in the first place? I can understand no washer/dryer, that’s why laundromats were invented, but no stove? Really? What do they eat, raw food? Do they have a refrigerator? Does she sleep on a mat on the floor? I want answers to all of these questions, but to get them I would have to lead St on in the matter of his moving in with me. Needless to say, this is not happening.

  2. As I have mentioned before, I am most definitely a cat person as opposed to a dog person. I love my cat, I like hanging out with cats, I understand cats. My family had dogs growing up but I am completely turned off by most dogs since most people don’t train their animals and they are ill behaved barking machines who destroy anything they come in contact with (see: current roommates two mongrels).However.My mother recently adopted a black and white border collie that needed a home. Her name is Sassy, she is about 9 months old and 50 lbs. heavy, and she is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever seen. A virtue of her breed is that they learn quickly and can be trained to do many things, and she already knows several commands after just a couple of weeks at my mother’s. Mom is convinced that I need to adopt Sassy, and so far I have been unable to talk myself into saying no. Border collies need lots of activity (most websites I’ve looked at suggest 2 hours of running/exercise a day), so in order to keep the dog from getting bored and eating my house I will probably end up getting lots of exercise myself, which would be good for me in the losing weight department I suppose.


    Look at that smile. Who could resist? Are there any support groups for people who can’t say no to animals? This is starting to scare me.

  3. Pirates of the Caribbean. Strangely satisfying in a chaotic Disneyfied manner. Not a bad way to spend a Wednesday night.
  4. I think I have a junior-high style crush on a coworker. Yes, it is the same one who I got matched with on Yahoo! and then we pretended it never happened. He’s an intelligent, tall, hyper-articulate music aficionado with a soft spot for animals, and I get tongue tied every time I’m around him, which is awkward seeing as how we are on the same team. I really thought I was too old for this kind of crap.
  5. Speaking of the opposite sex, so far eHarmony has netted me no actual dates, but I am in communication with at least a couple of prospects that I actually hope work out. Both are mid to late 20’s, decently educated, cute, with intelligent humor on their profiles. I’ve been a little depressed about the large proportion of short dyslexic truck driver profiles (not that there is anything wrong with any of those things, just not likely to be my cup of tea), so this is a definite improvement.
  6. I have been using Linux (Ubuntu Feisty Fawn to be specific) on my old home pc for a few weeks. It is so much easier to use than when I last gave it a try several years ago, but I’m still not sure I would recommend it for the average windows user. It was easy to install, but installing programs that aren’t a part of the automatic installer included with the OS is not an easy task, and the codecs to play DVDs and some other formats are not easy to install either (and apparently technically illegal, since it requires cracking of the codec to install it). My roommate requested that I put Linux on an old pc of hers, so I think I’m going to try PCLinuxOS for her, I’ve read that it’s more usable for the Linux novice, and I while I love helping out my friends I don’t particularly want to be constant tech support.
  7. I picked my mother up at the airport the other night after she had been visiting friends in New Mexico and drove her to her house, which is about 30 minutes from mine. After we pulled off of the freeway she began to frantically dig in her bag, finally pulling out her camera and trying to turn it on quickly (this is a low-cost digital camera, not particularly fast), all the while muttering to herself about ‘finally catching it’.

    “Mom? What are you doing?” I asked with justifiable concern.

    “Marlboro Hot Pizza,” my mother replied inexplicably.

    “Ew. What exactly does that mean?”

    Rather than reply she began snapping a picture of a gas station sign which of course, featured the following tasty information:

    Hot Pizza

    Her camera wasn’t fast enough, she merely ended up getting a lovely shot of some gas pumps.

    “Damnit, I’ve been trying to get a picture of that sign for forever. Isn’t it gross? Doesn’t it make you think of eating cigarette butts? I hate how slow my camera is,” she lamented.

    “Well, think of it this way,” I helpfully replied. “If you get the picture now, your quest will be over, and hence the movie. Any good quest story has to have at least 3 setbacks or it’s just boring and no one will care.”

    She thought about that for a second.

    “You’re weird.”

    People, this is what I come from.


hello there

All 5 or 6 of you who were wondering what happened to me, you will be happy to learn that the work deadline has been met more or less successfully as of today. We still have a good bit of work before the project is as it should be, but I don’t expect any more 10-12 hour days in the near future. So, hopefully, I won’t be too mentally drained to keep up with posting here!

The biggest news in my life at the moment isn’t even mine… right about when I decided that I would start this blog as well as jump into the online dating universe I tried talking a number of my friends into dating online as well, with varied levels of success. I had one or two try some free sites, another (who lives in a different city) tried yahoo along with me, and my roommate decided to give eHarmony a spin. The others had about as much success as I have so far, which is to say not much, but the roommate actually met someone she liked, started dating him, and canceled her subscription within a month. Fast forward a few months, and guess who is planning to walk down the aisle in August? Yep. And yours truly is the maid of honor, of course. I’m actually a great maid of honor candidate since I had that close call with wedded bliss not all that long ago, I even had some wedding planning books laying around.

People keep asking me if I think they are moving too fast, if I’m worried, if he’s some sort of predator after her credit rating. Honestly, I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. If it were me, it would be too fast. I don’t trust people quickly, and the one time I have really been in love it took a long time for those feelings to grow from the friendship they started as. So for me it would be too fast. But the both of them are open, caring, genuine people who know what they want from life, and now they’ve discovered it includes each other. For someone else it would be too fast, but for them it is just perfect, and as one of her oldest friends and her honor attendant, I am going to do everything in my power to make this time amazing for her, and not try to add to her worries. She has parents, other friends, all sorts of people who will try to make her doubt. I just want to make her happy. She deserves it more than anyone I can think of.

As for the fiancé, I’ve already impressed upon him that I am a force to be reckoned with. We like each other, I think he is an amazing guy, but he knows that I am protective of my own. I think perhaps I was designed (by God? circumstances? who knows?) to be a little more wary in order to watch out for those that are not, and I fully intend to.

Orange Roses

The orange, yellow, and white roses (to match the wedding colors) he gave her along with her engagement ring were lovely, and they looked great in our house, so I think he might just work out. But I have my eye on him.

And I’m switching to eHarmony. More on that later.


things that hurt my brain

I have a distinctly tiny amount to report on the subject of my dating life recently. I’ve had a couple of IM conversations with the tall southern boy, and exchanged e-mails with the European, but no real sparks there.

The over achiever and I went out for pizza a couple of weeks ago, but after that I didn’t really hear from him much. And that brings up something that has been niggling my brain. Perhaps one my 10 readers can help to explain it for me, because I have turned it over and over in my mind and I really can’t decide what exactly is going on here. The date with o.a. went well, I thought there was chemistry, there were surprisingly few awkward pauses in the conversation. At the end we both expressed interest in repeating the event… and then a week went by. At this point I had decided that he was just being nice after our date and actually was not interested, which I could deal with. However, twice since then he has contacted me via IM, we’ve had a nice little chat, and then we’ve gone on. No mention made on his part of seeing each other again. Enough time passed between the first and second chats that I assumed again that he had lost interest.

Here is what is confusing me. If he is not interested (which I have to assume since he hasn’t called or asked me out again), why does he keep contacting me via IM? Am I missing something here? I am fine if he wants to just go our separate ways. I understand that. And I would be open to going out again if he is. What I am not open to is continued tiny amounts of contact  without mention of another date. It’s not like I knew this guy before, we only know each other in the context of a dating relationship.

What is going on here?  What is he thinking? If he’s not interested why does he keep messaging me?



moving on once more

The over achiever has fallen by the wayside. I have talked to him on IM once since our date and no mention was made of another, and since then nothing. I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to turn into anything serious, so I can’t claim to be upset, and hey, I got dinner out of the deal!


I’m currently corresponding via Yahoo with two more prospects – both are early 30’s, one is a former military guy from around here who has moved into a technology field (geeky!), and he is quite tall, yum, and the other is a transplanted European who I believe is some sort of executive. I do love accents. Both of them seem sincere, and both of them ‘winked’ at me first (really they sent an ‘icebreaker’ as yahoo calls it, it would make me happy if these sites would use similar terminology), which is always flattering. I’ve only exchanged e-mails with them so far, but I’ll keep you posted.


reasons I am a dork

  • The coworker that I spotted on yahoo right when I signed up (and who was very compatible with me) is now someone I will probably be working closely with. He usually acts pretty shy around me, but I don’t know if this is normal for him or a result of the yahoo thing. I’m not even totally sure he knows about it, but I find it hard to imagine he doesn’t. It adds a certain spice to my day (if the spice is one that immediately causes feelings of embarrassment), I must say.
  • I dropped my cell phone in the toilet.
  • My roommate laughed at me. I walked into the living room the other night and asked her, “Want to hear something really cool?” She immediately assumed that the over achiever had called, more fool her. I was actually bursting with excitement over a new website I had found that allows me to reduce my netflix queue by quite a bit. (I had been wanting to see six feet under, and the british version of coupling, and a few highlander episodes, among other things.) It is, basically people post links there to places you can find streaming video online – there is a lot more out there than I had imagined. Also there is less chance of the MPAA breathing down your neck if you take advantage than if you used something like a bittorrent client to get the same content, since you are just viewing the material, not downloading or sharing it. If you don’t really want to download that episode of scrubs to your hard drive, it is a great alternative.


  • I really want one of these.
  • I got to see a sneak preview of the new This American Life tv series at the local independent theater, and it made my week. You can watch the trailer here.
  • Bunnee. Hee hee hee.

the over achiever

The over achiever and I met for the first time earlier this week. We had talked on the phone several times and had several IM conversations, and the conversation in person was just as easy and fun as it had been all along. We talked about programming, the company I work for, our cats, our roommates, the Freemasons… we didn’t seem to run out of topics, and to his credit he let me talk all I wanted! I wasn’t bored at all. He is on the cute side of average, and there were a couple of moments where we smiled at each other and I felt a hint of a spark. I think. We both said at the end of the date that we would like to spend more time together.

The negatives: He was at least an inch shorter than his profile led me to believe, which makes us the same height. I am a tall woman so this doesn’t make him short, but I have to admit I have a weakness for the taller guys. I spend so much of my time feeling taller than other people (I’m only 5’9″-ish, but that puts me quite a bit above the average woman) that when a man makes me feel petite it gives him a huge advantage.

He also is extremely busy. All the time. We only had about an hour and a half for our date, which really didn’t seem long enough. He is in a Master’s program full time as well as working full time, which gives him about one free night a week. He also lives about 30 minutes away, which makes the time aspect even more difficult.

I also get a sense of casualness from him that is a little disconcerting. I would like to feel that a man is pursuing me and is really interested, not that he is casually contacting me whenever he gets bored and remembers I exist. I haven’t heard from since we went out, but since he has already established a pattern of inconsistency I’m not sure whether to think it’s because he’s busy, he isn’t interested, or he just forgot. I wouldn’t have minded a date for this weekend though.

A new guy sent me a yahoo icebreaker that is pretty cute, but his profile is a little vague. I sent him a flirty little note and asked for more info, so we’ll see! I’m certainly not going to wait for the over-achiever to remember I exist.


Could it be the full moon?

Today started out with much promise… I wore my newly purchased black and red kimono-style top with silver accents with long dangly beaded earrings – an outfit guaranteed to garner me a large number of second glances. Even my (completely) platonic guy friend from work was checking me out, which of course does a girl’s heart (or her vanity, whichever) tons of good. I was still on a bit of a high from the 3 hour Yahoo conversation I had with a new match – I had sent him an ice breaker a few weeks back, and he just now responded, but he claims he didn’t get it until now, so I suppose I can forgive him. He is a graduate student in addition to working full time, so I suppose I will call him the Over-Achiever. He asked me a number of questions during our conversation that could have been answered by reading my profile, so I’m not sure exactly what his motivating factor is… maybe he just saw the cute headshot and dove in. As someone who likes to do her research and weigh all possible pros and cons before diving into anything I have a hard time figuring that kind of mentality out, but maybe I need someone in my life who can jump first and think later. (Goodness knows I’m not going to.) Anyway, we traded numbers, so who knows?

However, by the time the morning had passed I was feeling pretty low. I love this time of year, the world is waking up, my energy starts flowing, I have the desire to do all kinds of things, all at once. Take a road trip, go camping, climb a mountain, write a novel, bake, learn a new programming language – there are so many options I feel overwhelmed. What I really want is someone who will be there with me though… someone who will enjoy the spring with me, tell me I’m pretty in my black/red/silver outfit, and who will hold me when I start my quarter-life angsty worrying crap, and remind me that I have plenty of time to conquer the world.

I thought I had that once. In college I had a friend who I thought was perfect for me – he was smart, tall (very important), he loved children, he was funny, his family was adorable. We moved from best friends to boyfriend/girlfriend almost seamlessly it seemed (though much later than I would have liked), and were together for almost 3 years. During that time we got engaged, and were in fact only a few months from the wedding when he called it off. He didn’t love me, in fact he had feelings for another friend of ours. I’m not totally sure I loved him either anymore… but I have always believed that the first infatuation does not last, that what you are left with is a mutual respect and affection that will allow you to live your lives together as partners. I think I thought this was what had happened to our relationship, however looking back I can see that we both had very large issues that would have prevented us from ever making good partners. I tried to help him, he saw it as control. He wanted to stay in his little town in his little rut and never leave, I wanted to see the world. Twice, if possible. It’s been over a year since we broke up, and while I have been over him for quite a while, I have just now gotten to the point where I felt like I could be in a relationship with someone else. A few bad dates have not changed this hope.

While I don’t want him back, I do desperately miss the feeling of having another half, of not going it alone. Tonight when I got home from work and sat and talked to my cat I felt like the most pathetic human on the planet. I like looking pretty (which I generally know I do, a few extra pounds or not), but I LOVE the look in my partner’s eyes when I’ve made a special effort and I know it has a certain, shall we say, effect on him. I want someone to feel proud that I belong to him… and I want to feel the same way about him.

I know I am strong enough to be alone, and most of the time I am ok, but I really never thought I would be single at this age (I know, I know, I’m only nearly 25, but still, it’s true), my parents married young (too young, really), and I just always thought I would too. I love the idea of having a family, kids, all that good stuff, and I know it will happen, but I like to be in control, and I HATE not knowing when my southern geek boy will come along.

I’m going to keep looking though – I’m not passively waiting around, I’ll keep prowling the interwebs for unsuspecting Henry clones:)

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