Posts Tagged ‘family


the voices in the sky say don’t travel with your family

I spent the weekend in the company of 6 of my female relatives shopping and hanging out in a rather frightening tourist trap town a few hours from here. My name for this place is ‘geriatric Las Vegas’ – the average age of the visitors I spotted was about 70, and I can count on hand the number of people in the 20’s I spotted, which includes my cousin who was also on the trip. The main attractions of the town are the outlet malls and the shows, at which you can probably see any second rate magician and aging gospel singer you might choose. The one my grandmother and 2 of my aunts went to see had billboards plastered all over town of the old dude who was the star, this guy was botoxed, mystic-tanned and teeth-whitened so much that he looks like a caricature of a washed up celebrity. Supposedly they had a good time, but I choose to believe that this was because they were too far from the stage to get a good look.

As an introverted person weekends like this are fun for me for about 2 hours, and then I have to constantly fight the urge to run away to find a bar or a circus to join or a train to hop or anything to get me away from the noise. My mother, who has been my mother for over 25 years, still accuses me of being some snort of snob who is too good to spend time for my family when I have to take a break and disappear with my iPod or book for an hour or so of peace. I know she knows I like to be alone, I just don’t think she’s ever figured out I need it if I’m not going to get so uncomfortable I start lashing out at people. Oh well, maybe she’ll get it eventually…

I’ll leave you with a few of the entertaining moments of the trip:

My aunt D. was driving her giant SUV with most of the group inside as we were on our way to pick up dinner from a bakery/sandwich place. My cousin and I had seen the place the day before on our way into town, so we told my aunt which way to turn, but she couldn’t belive that the place was the direction we claimed, so she went the opposite way. After driving for a while she decided on her own this couldn’t be it, so back we went to the intersection, at which we now need to go straight to get to the restaurant. This time for some unknown reason she gets into the left lane and turns left. At this point the entire car is yelling at her because we all know which way to go, and my mom starts making fun of her for pulling u-turns – she’s made up a song about u-turns that she brings out for such occasions. The Aunt’s response to the song and the yelling is to pull off the street into the empty parking lot and drive the car in circles. Very small circles. Doughnuts really. I thought I was going to be sick. After that we told her she could go whichever direction she pleased… and it only took one more try through the intersection to go the right way.

I found out that my aunt P. claims to have the ability to hear the conversations that are taking place when airplanes fly over – she says that for a long time she would hear voices and not know where they were coming from, but one day she heard someone say something like ‘I can’t wait to get home’ and noticed that there was a plane flying over. She thinks she must pick up certain frequencies in her head. I think she might be a little nuts… but as an X-Files fan it’s hard to totally write her off. I’d rather believe it was ghosts than airplane conversations though…

I found some cute brown boots to wear to work. Yeah, I know that’s only entertaining to me. Suck it up.

I took a picture of a deer statue ALREADY decorated for effing CHRISTMAS, but it’s not on my PC yet. I’ll let you guys enjoy that later.

Edit: Here you go. Silver reindeer (or some kind of deer) ass.


Seriously, why are we already putting up Christmas trees? Am I not allowed to enjoy fall and Thanksgiving any more? I hate consumerism.


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