Archive for the 'dating' Category

14
Feb
08

valentine’s day thought

bite me subversive cross stitch
Almost makes me want to take up cross stitch again.
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01
Jan
08

time to reboot

2007

Spent the evening with the newlyweds as well as their 3 dogs + 2 cats. Can we say zoo? We enjoyed our leftover Christmas truffles (made by yours truly) and champagne whilst watching a couple of flicks – namely Superbad and Shrek III. The first was hilarious and the second quite lame, but my brain needed the cleansing inanity of Donkey’s antics after watching the expletive-ridden exploits of McLovin and his pals.

—-

I’ve been off the blogging bandwagon for a bit – after November I needed a break, and the holidays have been more depressing than usual this year. Today (the first) marks 2 years since I broke up with the ex-fiance, and while I can’t say that I regret that happenstance, I do regret that I have spent 2 years of my life without someone special to share it with. Most days I don’t think about it and just go about my business, but the lack of someone to kiss while watching the ball drop or gazing on fireworks as midnight hits is not fun. Not fun at all. I now understand how I allowed myself to talk myself into the mess that was my attempt to date online – the loneliness gets to a certain level and you decide that anything is better, even rejection (or having to reject).

—-

Let’s move onto something less self-pitying shall we? Being slightly tipsy is no excuse at all. Instead of thinking about what I am lacking I would like to review a few of the things that made 2007 less than sucky.

  • I started southerngeekgirl. This is the closest I have come to keeping any sort of journal or other expression of my thoughts with any regularity ever, and even though it has been sporadic I think it has been a good thing.
  • I gained the cutest nephew ever in the entire world, and I adore my brother’s fiance like a little sister. I was so upset when I found out that they were having a baby (he’s 18, she’s 17), and it’s still not the best of situations, but how can you not be happy to see a baby? He is happy and healthy and beautiful and I don’t know if any aunt ever loved her nephew more.
  • I also have a beautiful new niece, but I haven’t gotten to meet her yet since she and her parents currently reside in Japan (if I could afford the ticket I would be there in a flash!). Even though I can’t hold her I’ve been entertaining myself buying and making lovely little girl things – boy clothes aren’t nearly as fun.
  • One of my very best friends in the world found her life partner and is blissfully happy (her online dating experience was much more successful than mine as I have documented here in the past). While I occasionally want to kick her husband (by which I mean I occasionally do kick her husband) he loves her and has been taking good care of her. I still have my eye on him though…
  • I discovered or gained new appreciation for ze frank, Brotherhood 2.o, Neil Gaiman, Phillip Pullman, fancy beer, dogs, my inner sailor (you know, the one who knows all the curse words), Doctor Who, Dexter, Buffy, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, George R.R. Martin, William Gibson, Cory Doctorow, Metamor City, Ricky Gervais, Portal, Jonathan Coulton, and knee high black boots.

There were sucky things. Money is tight, work is stressful, family is dramatic and friends are distant. However, if I dwell on the bad (especially after the glass of wine I’ve been enjoying as I type) instead of appreciating the good then I’ll start the new year on a bad note, and I really want 2008 to be the year I become a more confident, kind, intelligent, and scifi-knowledgeable woman. I’ll save the self-pity for pms week.

Cheers!

28
Nov
07

I’ve been tagged! [3-7 of 7]

It took me long enough to get around to finishing this. Focus has not been high on my list of accomplishments recently, and NaBloPoMo is harder than I thought it would be. It’s been good for me though, as ze frank said in one of his latest videos (and how awesome is it that he is making videos again?), feeling uninspired is no excuse for not creating things – the difference between working on something you don’t think is going to be perfect and not working on something at all is the difference between 1 and 0. Something and nothing.

The things:

3. People who have seen my bedroom would laugh at this, but the truth is that I am a perfectionist, which means that ze’s advice notwithstanding, I hate to do something if I don’t think I can do it right. This means that I don’t start a lot of things, like cleaning projects (my room is a mess), writing stories, or trying to sew. I have a couple of web application ideas that have been kicking around in my head for months that I haven’t gotten around to trying to fix. My room was a royal mess until this weekend – mostly because I knew that I had to go through a couple of boxes that I didn’t want to touch: the last remnants of my relationship with the former fiance. I finally bit the bullet though and forced myself to do it. I saved a couple of small gifts and a couple of photos, nothing that wouldn’t fit into a little box I had set aside for that purpose, and I trashed everything else. Gifts, photos, letters, wedding planning stuff, it all went. Yes, I still had wedding stuff. Yes, it’s been 2 years. I know, I am pathetic. Believe me, it caused me no pain to toss it and it would have if I’d done it before, so I’m glad I waited. So, there’s some breakup advice for you. Don’t say I never taught you anything.

4. I bake for brownie points. So far no one has complained:) (Today it was chocolate banana bread, a recipe of my own devising. Tasty!)

5.  Google reader rules my life. I have subscribed to so many feeds I will never ever be able to catch up, I’ve had to create a special category for stuff I consider a must read and I get to the other stuff eventually. I subscribe to news(regular and technology + local, national and world), entertainment, gossip blogs, personal blogs, lots and lots of scifi and book blogs, and even some software development blogs. Right now I have at least 2,000 unread items in my reader. Is there a 12 step rss program?

6. I can’t keep my dog off of the couch. She gets in trouble every time I catch her, and yet still the next time I go into the living room, there she is again, snoozing away. What does this mean? Does she wish I had carpet? Is the bed I gave her not good enough? Should I get her her own couch? Rig that one with an ejector seat so it flings her across the room if she gets on it? These are the questions that occupy me.

7. Finally, number 7. The last random thing about me is that last night I fell asleep fully clothed with the light on at 10pm and didn’t wake up until 3am, at which point I decided changing was a lost cause and just switched off the light and went back to bed. This can be interpreted a couple of ways: either I need a boyfriend (or better roommate) who will nudge me awake so I can actually get ready for bed like a normal human being, or I need to take more naps during the day. Perhaps both.

There you go Pheobe, I finished it, and before the month was even out. I should get a prize for that.

07
Nov
07

status report on my (nonexistent) dating life plus a pretty picture

Nothing new to report. I have thought more about fictional men than any real ones. Yesterday it wasn’t even a fictional man, it was a fictional boy. Mission ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ is almost complete!

colorado

This is a picture I took in Dillon, Colorado when I was there a few weeks ago for a conference. I have never seen a bluer sky, and the snow-capped rockies make the mountains in my state look like amateurs.

If I knew how I would photo-shop some signal fires on the peaks. That would have made the trip a roaring (snicker) success.

11
Sep
07

big stack of books

I have absolutely nothing to say about today’s anniversary that would not sound utterly trite, so I will not attempt. Your regularly scheduled (snerk) post will now commence.

Ostensibly this blog was to be used to describe my forays into the dating realm, but as you might have guessed lately those have been utterly nonexistent. I had been trying eHarmony for a while, but the one or two times I got to the point in their 8 billion step process where you answer questions chosen by your potential date in 1,000 words or less I would stare at the little text area and go completely blank. Should I be flip? Completely serious? Try and play up my playful side and be a complete flirt or try to convey my maturity and intelligence? Is it possible to combine all of the above into a perfectly crafted essay that will cause the gentleman in question to wish to pursue the relationship further, and if so, do I really want to pursue it myself?

All of this is completely ridiculous because my vast knowledge of men tells me that he decided whether or not he wanted to go out with me within 5 seconds of viewing my picture, and he will probably only skim my answers looking for obvious red flags (prude, bitch, complete moron, etc.) Nevertheless I have allowed myself to talk said self out of meeting 2 or 3 perfectly nice seeming guys because of my own insecurities, and have instead focused on the happenings in the lives of my friends and family, my job, and catching up on my reading. I may be an elderly spinster living alone with my 20 cats one of these days, but at least I’ll be a well read one.

This is a photo of the books I have been working my way through lately. I have a bad habit of reading something partially, leaving it, and coming back off and on over time (mostly this depends on where I am located when the urge to read strikes me). My favorite books are the ones that have captured my imagination and not allowed me to put them down until I have finished them.

Books

The Margaret Atwood and Elliot Perlman novels may never be finished as I have been working on them for a year and 6 months respectively. The 2 Richard Scarry books are for my nephew, I plan to have him reading in a few days, and the E. Nesbit books will be waiting for him when he is a little older, but I will enjoy them for him meanwhile. I am actually reading The Once and Future King at the moment – so far it is quite similar to the Disney movie the Sword and the Stone, and if I weren’t too lazy right now to spend 5 minutes googling I would look up which came first, though I’m sure it is the book.

The best books I have read recently are the His Dark Materials books by Phillip Pullman, and since the Golden Compass movie is being released this holiday season what better time to read them yourself? Now that I’ve seen Stardust that is the movie I am most excited about this year.

You know, if I keep adding to that pile I could put off the whole dating thing for quite a while.

01
Jun
07

7 random things meme

Here you go Jenn!

  1. I am working on finding a new roommate. I am currently corresponding with two likely prospects from online ads, both women in their 20’s who are pursuing advanced degrees, either one of which sounds like a good personality fit to live with me. I’m kind of relieved, because before I got to this point, the only person I’d talked to was St. For reference here is a sample of St’s ad:

    Looking to rent a room in a two bedroom apt or home. I’m a professional seeking to room with a female. I have referances and a great job. Going to school as well.

    Short but sweet. Has a spelling error but nobody’s perfect. Now – pretend you are me – based on this ad, what gender would you say this person is? Well, if you said male then you are not pretending to be me all that well, but you would be correct. (I would like to take this moment to point out that I have no real objection to rooming with a guy, but I am much more likely to do it if he is someone I know well or has been recommended to me, as I have a rather small house and only one bathroom.) I responded to the ad, described a little about my house and myself, and when St replied with an obviously male name, I told him I was a little uncomfortable with living with a guy I didn’t know. And here, for your enjoyment, are some excerpts from his reply (emphasis mine):

    I’m currently living with a female now… Living here has been great. My house mate takes care of everything. The only thing she has asked me to do is keep the tub clean and do my dishes, which I always do, and lock the doors when I leave. I shouldn’t want to leave, but I want to live closer to (hippie neighborhood) area. And I would like to talk to my housemate for more than 5 minutes in a weeks time. My housemate is currently working on her (advanced degree) So it’s understandable that she doesn’t have time to talk, but I’ve lived here for a year and I feel she still is not comfortable living with me. I’m the first male she has lived with as a housemate. I’ve asked if I could do anything for her like any fixing that needs to done around the house. She doesn’t say no but she doesn’t ask me to do anything for her either. She is a monk and goes by Sister (hippie name). She is religious and I’m not that much. Which I think might makes her feel uncomfortable. I don’t go to church, but I also don’t drink, do drugs, or smoke. I have paid on time every time. She currently lives as a minimalist. She doesn’t like to have to many things. I would like a washer dryer to do my clothes and a stove for cooking. Don’t get me wrong I knew all this before I started living here, I guess it’s getting to me. I haven’t had anyone over. I spend most of my time out at coffee houses reading.

    Now. My question for St is, why the hell did you move in with this woman in the first place? I can understand no washer/dryer, that’s why laundromats were invented, but no stove? Really? What do they eat, raw food? Do they have a refrigerator? Does she sleep on a mat on the floor? I want answers to all of these questions, but to get them I would have to lead St on in the matter of his moving in with me. Needless to say, this is not happening.

  2. As I have mentioned before, I am most definitely a cat person as opposed to a dog person. I love my cat, I like hanging out with cats, I understand cats. My family had dogs growing up but I am completely turned off by most dogs since most people don’t train their animals and they are ill behaved barking machines who destroy anything they come in contact with (see: current roommates two mongrels).However.My mother recently adopted a black and white border collie that needed a home. Her name is Sassy, she is about 9 months old and 50 lbs. heavy, and she is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever seen. A virtue of her breed is that they learn quickly and can be trained to do many things, and she already knows several commands after just a couple of weeks at my mother’s. Mom is convinced that I need to adopt Sassy, and so far I have been unable to talk myself into saying no. Border collies need lots of activity (most websites I’ve looked at suggest 2 hours of running/exercise a day), so in order to keep the dog from getting bored and eating my house I will probably end up getting lots of exercise myself, which would be good for me in the losing weight department I suppose.

    Sassy

    Look at that smile. Who could resist? Are there any support groups for people who can’t say no to animals? This is starting to scare me.

  3. Pirates of the Caribbean. Strangely satisfying in a chaotic Disneyfied manner. Not a bad way to spend a Wednesday night.
  4. I think I have a junior-high style crush on a coworker. Yes, it is the same one who I got matched with on Yahoo! and then we pretended it never happened. He’s an intelligent, tall, hyper-articulate music aficionado with a soft spot for animals, and I get tongue tied every time I’m around him, which is awkward seeing as how we are on the same team. I really thought I was too old for this kind of crap.
  5. Speaking of the opposite sex, so far eHarmony has netted me no actual dates, but I am in communication with at least a couple of prospects that I actually hope work out. Both are mid to late 20’s, decently educated, cute, with intelligent humor on their profiles. I’ve been a little depressed about the large proportion of short dyslexic truck driver profiles (not that there is anything wrong with any of those things, just not likely to be my cup of tea), so this is a definite improvement.
  6. I have been using Linux (Ubuntu Feisty Fawn to be specific) on my old home pc for a few weeks. It is so much easier to use than when I last gave it a try several years ago, but I’m still not sure I would recommend it for the average windows user. It was easy to install, but installing programs that aren’t a part of the automatic installer included with the OS is not an easy task, and the codecs to play DVDs and some other formats are not easy to install either (and apparently technically illegal, since it requires cracking of the codec to install it). My roommate requested that I put Linux on an old pc of hers, so I think I’m going to try PCLinuxOS for her, I’ve read that it’s more usable for the Linux novice, and I while I love helping out my friends I don’t particularly want to be constant tech support.
  7. I picked my mother up at the airport the other night after she had been visiting friends in New Mexico and drove her to her house, which is about 30 minutes from mine. After we pulled off of the freeway she began to frantically dig in her bag, finally pulling out her camera and trying to turn it on quickly (this is a low-cost digital camera, not particularly fast), all the while muttering to herself about ‘finally catching it’.

    “Mom? What are you doing?” I asked with justifiable concern.

    “Marlboro Hot Pizza,” my mother replied inexplicably.

    “Ew. What exactly does that mean?”

    Rather than reply she began snapping a picture of a gas station sign which of course, featured the following tasty information:

    Marlboro
    Hot Pizza

    Her camera wasn’t fast enough, she merely ended up getting a lovely shot of some gas pumps.

    “Damnit, I’ve been trying to get a picture of that sign for forever. Isn’t it gross? Doesn’t it make you think of eating cigarette butts? I hate how slow my camera is,” she lamented.

    “Well, think of it this way,” I helpfully replied. “If you get the picture now, your quest will be over, and hence the movie. Any good quest story has to have at least 3 setbacks or it’s just boring and no one will care.”

    She thought about that for a second.

    “You’re weird.”

    People, this is what I come from.

01
May
07

hello there

All 5 or 6 of you who were wondering what happened to me, you will be happy to learn that the work deadline has been met more or less successfully as of today. We still have a good bit of work before the project is as it should be, but I don’t expect any more 10-12 hour days in the near future. So, hopefully, I won’t be too mentally drained to keep up with posting here!

The biggest news in my life at the moment isn’t even mine… right about when I decided that I would start this blog as well as jump into the online dating universe I tried talking a number of my friends into dating online as well, with varied levels of success. I had one or two try some free sites, another (who lives in a different city) tried yahoo along with me, and my roommate decided to give eHarmony a spin. The others had about as much success as I have so far, which is to say not much, but the roommate actually met someone she liked, started dating him, and canceled her subscription within a month. Fast forward a few months, and guess who is planning to walk down the aisle in August? Yep. And yours truly is the maid of honor, of course. I’m actually a great maid of honor candidate since I had that close call with wedded bliss not all that long ago, I even had some wedding planning books laying around.

People keep asking me if I think they are moving too fast, if I’m worried, if he’s some sort of predator after her credit rating. Honestly, I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. If it were me, it would be too fast. I don’t trust people quickly, and the one time I have really been in love it took a long time for those feelings to grow from the friendship they started as. So for me it would be too fast. But the both of them are open, caring, genuine people who know what they want from life, and now they’ve discovered it includes each other. For someone else it would be too fast, but for them it is just perfect, and as one of her oldest friends and her honor attendant, I am going to do everything in my power to make this time amazing for her, and not try to add to her worries. She has parents, other friends, all sorts of people who will try to make her doubt. I just want to make her happy. She deserves it more than anyone I can think of.

As for the fiancé, I’ve already impressed upon him that I am a force to be reckoned with. We like each other, I think he is an amazing guy, but he knows that I am protective of my own. I think perhaps I was designed (by God? circumstances? who knows?) to be a little more wary in order to watch out for those that are not, and I fully intend to.

Orange Roses

The orange, yellow, and white roses (to match the wedding colors) he gave her along with her engagement ring were lovely, and they looked great in our house, so I think he might just work out. But I have my eye on him.

And I’m switching to eHarmony. More on that later.




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