Archive for August, 2009

16
Aug
09

don’t forget the cupcakes

I went through a period where posting here was almost therapeutic, and doing it at work for a time made me feel like I was getting away with something which was fun. For the last year I’ve been going through a lot of changes – I got a job I mostly like close enough to live in the city I mostly love, and it seems like things couldn’t help but look up.

Mostly they have, but here lately I’ve been feeling that itch again. The feeling that it isn’t quite enough to have a good job and good friends, that there is something more out there, that I should be travelling (though I have no vacation time), writing (though I have mediocre ability) and loving (though my dating prospects are worse than blah right now).

I’ve caught myself a couple of times in the last few weeks acting crazy around my friends. I complain that I don’t go out enough but don’t accept invitations, or I change my mind about what I want to do several times in an evening, or I just let my social anxieties take over and don’t express myself at all.

The fix for all of these things seems easy on the surface. Do more, be more, think more, dream more. Follow through on goals. Be the friend you want others to be for you. And actually, if I listed out my accomplishments for the last year I would probably surprise myself. I am a home owner, I took a major step forward career wise, I took a dream trip to Tokyo, I get to see my friends more now than I ever did in my old city, and I made some super awesome cupcakes. None of those things are to be taken lightly. Especially the cupcakes.

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