here we go

I am generally a shy person. I have never, say, met a guy in a bar. Everyone I have ever gone out with has been someone I met, spent time with as a friend, and then ended up dating. I am old fashioned enough to want to be pursued, and while I know how to flirt, I feel uncomfortable being the one to come on to a guy or ask him out. So, in a way, online dating takes some of that nervousness away. I don’t really mind getting rejected by a guy I’ve never actually seen in person. If I send him an e-mail or a little icebreaker message, and he doesn’t reply, it’s not the end of the world. In fact, online dating may just be the introverts salvation in this crazy world of trying to find a mate.

And yes, that is what my ultimate goal is. I want to have fun, but I also want to find someone I could love, marry, grow old with, and all that jazz. I’m not interested in ‘hooking up’, and I probably won’t waste time developing a relationship I don’t see going anywhere… which I would guess is the reason I’ve only had one long term relationship. I’m not going to keep dating someone once I realize it’s not going to work out. I’ve been accused of being a tease or someone who leads men on because of this, but it only makes sense to me. In fact, according to yahoo my love style is sensible, so I’m just acting the way I’m designed.

So. Here is what I’ve done so far. Since writing the previous post, I’ve signed up for a paid Yahoo personals acount, as well as a free okCupid account, and I’ve spruced up my mySpace profile. Each has produced results of a kind…

My Space

  • One guy who claimed to be ‘smitten’ e-mailed me about how much he loved my profile. I replied with thanks, don’t know if there is chemistry there, but he at least is intelligent and not just e-mailing me to add to his friend count. What exactly is the point of that anyway? I only signed up on myspace originally because I had friends on there who aren’t on facebook or live journal, not really to meet people, and certainly not to amass a huge network of strangers. Verdict: don’t know yet.


  • A former military man who is going to school at night, wrote sub-par e-mails, and claimed to be better at IM. I took pity and gave him my IM id, in one conversation he managed to bring up his lack of a date for valentine’s day, his crazy ex-fiance and the full list of why she was horrible, the fact that he has been jettisoning all of his friends because they don’t fit well anymore (not too bad, but combined with the rest, ick), and asked straight out what neighborhood I lived in and what company I worked for, which of course I refused to answer. I think I’m done with him.
  • A lawyer/professor who wrote a very nice e-mail complimenting my profile, and mentioning specific interests (wine, books) that we shared. I returned his message, jury is still out. Based on his profile he might be looking for a more casual relationship than I would like to get involved in. (looking for activity partners? yeah, no)
  • I e-mailed a certain hipster/geeky guy whose profile I found funny and well-written, but have received no response as of yet. I think I might have leaned too far toward quirky when writing it. Or maybe he just didn’t like my picture. Sigh.

Yahoo – since this is the one I’m actually shelling out dough for, I’m pinning most of my hopes here

  • Nice business owner about 5 years older than me, profile kind of bland, but seems like he is a very steady guy. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages, could be a possibility.
  • A couple of guys sent me icebreakers to which I have responded with e-mails, no answer yet.
  • A guy the same age as my dad and 2 inches shorter than me sent quite a long e-mail. He also is a geek, which is why I responded even though I don’t think anything will happen. I told him up front I wasn’t comfortable with his age… so probably not gonna work.
  • A guy with the same name and career field as the ex-fiance. I almost deleted his profile right then. I didn’t respond all that warmly, he looks familiar (he’s from my home town, about 30 minutes from the city I currently live in), so I sent him a message asking how long he has lived there. If he persists I will give it a chance, but I’m perfectly willing to let it drop.
  • I’ve sent out icebreakers to several guys who had interesting profiles, I guess we’ll see! I felt very proud of myself for doing that, it wasn’t the easiest thing ever, but as I already said, the distance that the internet affords does make it a little easier.

Updates will be forthcoming!


1 Response to “here we go”

  1. February 4, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    My fingers are crossed for the hipster! I have a special place in my heart for those! Good luck girlie!-Miz C.

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