Next, please

Myspace boy and I finally met on Wednesday night at the local big chain bookstore. Let me just say, it’s not going to work. He however seems smitten, I’ve gotten a mySpace message and 3 text messages on my cell phone from him since then. I specifically requested that he use my real e-mail address and he didn’t, and I also have not received an actual phone call. I have to let him down but I haven’t quite decided on the best method.

This was a classic case of good IM’er = bad conversationalist. With IM you are generally forced to pause and allow the other person a chance to respond… this guy did not shut up. I am a reasonably good conversationalist even if you take into account my usual initial shyness, but I’m pretty sure I got in one word for his ten. Or twenty. During the course of the evening he described himself variously as a ‘beta male,’ a ‘fashionisto,’ and ‘in touch with his feminine side.’ None of these things are bad necessarily, but I don’t know if I understand the logic of trying to impress a girl with them.

He also flattered me continuously. Looks, intelligence, clothing choice, you name it. Normally one would think this was a good thing, but he never gave me a chance to demonstrate any of my personality… and when I tried to make playful jokes (teasing him or whatever) he would get all apologetic.

MB: (on the phone before we met) Can we meet a little earlier? I got finished sooner than I thought I would, and I knew you weren’t doing anything…

SGG: (archly) and just how do you know that?

MB: Oh, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to imply anything, I’m sorry for assuming, etc. etc. for like five minutes.

SGG: I’m just kidding, really, it’s ok. I was just watching American Idol.

MB: Oh, I knew that

SGG: ?

So, he really didn’t know me at all, didn’t understand my personality, but yet he continued to flatter me throughout the night. I like a compliment as much as the next girl, but I’m not silly enough to have my head turned by empty flattery, in fact feel rather insulted by it.

Also? I was hoping he would look better than his picture… but not so much. To be perfectly honest I really wasn’t attracted to him at all.

So, to recap: no physical chemistry, no mental rapport, and I’m not at all impressed by his job. Sigh.

Next?

What just happened here?

I think I may possibly have a date with myspace boy. That is, he asked me to meet him for coffee and I told him yes. I’m not totally sure we’re on the same page, but what can it hurt? I claimed to be busy all weekend (mostly true), so we are supposed to set up a time to meet next week. I’m going to suggest a coffee place that is not the one I usually frequent, the better to reduce the chance of stalkage if things don’t go as I would like.

I feel kind of like a hypocrite – I’ve been encouraging my female friends to pursue online dating and criticizing guys who e-mail or IM forever and never quite make it to that next step, but now that someone has actually stepped and asked me out I’m freaking out a little bit. He has come on kind of strong and has made no secret of the fact that he has a healthy love of the physical side of relationships, which is all well and good, but he won’t be getting that from me for a good long time, if ever. I may be a modern woman, but that is a step I am not willing to take unless there is real commitment and trust involved. I’m not one for casual relationships, which I have tried to make clear on all my profiles.

Oh well, if that’s what he’s after he’ll just move on when he doesn’t get it, and I’ll start auditioning the the next prospect. A nice looking Phd. candidate sent me an icebreaker on yahoo today…

Wincing the Night Away

I managed to get my hand’s on The Shins‘ new album today – I’d heard a couple of the songs already and loved them, and the rest is just as satisfying. However, I did have a bit of a shock when I went to the Amazon website and read the following in the album review:

“what this album proves is that the group deserves to move beyond the little Zach-Braff-movie-watching, This-American-Life-listening, Frappuccino-sipping demo-ghetto they’ve found themselves in.”

Has Amazon had people following me?

I need a vacation

But I can’t afford it. Who wants to hook me up?

I’m thinking New York. Or San Francisco. Or Boston. Or Jamaica. Or Italy. Just somewhere. My cyclical wanderlust has decided to rear it’s head once again. This town is alright, but there are so many places I know I’m not seeing. What if one day I’m 90 years old and the only thing I’ve done is go to college and work in a cube? I want to be like the Titanic chick – fall in love with an inappropriate man, have a wild passionate affair, drown him before he can get really annoying, and then have a fabulous exciting life. At the end of it all I’ll drop my gorgeous necklace into the ocean and die to a Celine Dion song. Or maybe the song will make me die. One or the other.

prospect update

Everyone on yahoo is boring. The one guy I have been corresponding with the most appears to have no sense of humor, and spends his free time golfing. I’m sure it makes him happy, but I have no interest at all in the sport – if you can call it that. I do have friends who enjoy it… but seriously.

Imagine you are a guy (if you are a guy already, then this will be easier), and you find a cute girl on a dating website, you think you might be a good fit, and the only way you have to convince her to talk to you or go out with you is to send her a really good e-mail. What might you do? How will you entice this vision of loveliness? Personally, I would think you would want to try and capture her interest in some fashion – ask her about her life, comment on the aspects of her profile that drew you to her, maybe even tell an interesting story.

Wait! I have it! The perfect thing! I don’t know why all men don’t know this, they could have the smart, funny, interesting women of the world in the palms of their hands. What is this wonderful secret? The one thing guaranteed to make any woman swoon? That’s right! They should be talking about golf. Or, barring that, football. People, I think I’ve found my kryptonite.

things, they are a changin’

I apologize for the high level of boringness in my last post. If you happened to find it interesting, and would like to apply for the job of managing my money for me and giving me a weekly allowance to cover lunches out and new shoes, just drop me a line. For the rest of you, I’ll try not to let it happen again. Now on to the real reason for this post….

I propose a new law. I believe customs like this existed in times past, though I have no idea if they actually existed in legal code anywhere. I propose that no younger sibling be allowed to get married or have children until the older one has done so. That’s it. Simple, easy to follow, and totally causes the younger sibling to have a reason to get the older one happily married off Taming of the Shrew style.

Boring financial stuff

I love spreadsheets. I love budgets. Nothing makes me happier than organizing data in perfect little rows, seeing the numbers add up, figuring out exactly what I am allowed to spend on new shoes and starbucks, and what has to be squirreled away for the inevitable car repairs or spontaneous vacations. However… I hate following in real life what I so painstakingly put together in my computer. I hate balancing my checkbook, I hate paying bills, I hate entering my expenditures into quicken or whatever I happen to be using. I like setting up the information repository, but the grunt work of data entry has absolutely no appeal.

So, when I see a list of easy to follow tips… I get curious and wonder if it will work for me. Maybe not, but who knows? The lifehacker posted a link to the Simple Dollar’s series called 31 Days to Fix Your Finances. It looks worth a try.

Also, the following credit score tips from a financial adviser might come in handy: Top 7 Credit Score Secrets

Now don’t be like me, and get those finances into shape!

I need this!

Threadless.com is one of my new loves in life. Yes, it’s a t-shirt website, but it allows designers to submit possible ideas for new shirts, and then users of the site get to vote on their favorites. Enough good votes, your shirt gets made. This model means that some really cool shirts are getting made, and it is fun to see what the designers are coming up with.

I actually discovered the site by reading Zach Braff’s blog. Occasionally threadless will hold a contest based on a band or a celebrity or a movie, seeing which designer can come up with the best design for a certain them, and they were running one for the movie “The Last Kiss”. (A movie I have yet to have the courage to watch, but I’m working up to it.)

I have bought two shirts so far from the site – Motovino and Pillow Fight, both in brown. The new design I have fallen in love with is called A Voyage of Discovery, and it is a beautiful visualization of the power of books to take you on a voyage… of discovery… you get the idea. Sadly once more I shall have to order in brown. People are going to think I don’t wear any other colors. Maybe I’ll spring for the long sleeves this time, that will add a little variety.

progress

Heard back from myspace boy this morning. It’s kind of interesting to me that the week I decide to pursue online dating is the week that I hear from someone out of the blue online… though he actually hasn’t specifically used the ‘d’ word, but he gave me lots of compliments, both on my profile and my pictures. My myspace profile only says I am looking for friendship, I wonder if I should change it to say dating/relationship also? I hadn’t really considered it as a dating tool before now…

I do wish myspace boy were more my type… he isn’t bad, and he dresses well, but there is just something odd about his pictures. He does e-mail really really well though. I think I’m over-thinking this. Must stop thinking!

I believe I will meditate on the prospect of Henry from Ugly Betty suddenly becoming real and popping into my existence to sweep me off my feet with his nerdly and adorable ways.

A few tips for men who would like to date online

I’ve only been involved in online dating a short while, but I have some tips for guys that would certainly make the experience a little more pleasant for me.

1. I don’t care if you are built like a model, I don’t want to see pictures of you with your shirt off. It’s not sexy. It just serves to prove that: a. you think you are so hot that women will throw themselves at your sexy, sexy body, b. you spend way too much time thinking about your appearance, or c. both. I’m sorry, but I’m looking for a man with a brain in his head, and who will use that brain to realize that most women want nice, fun guys who can hold their own in a conversation, not a stud who thinks about nothing but reps and power shakes.
2. Please do post a picture. And if you don’t, say why. Good reason: you are a teacher and don’t want your students to find you. Bad: you have a few extra pounds on your frame. If things go well we are going to find out what you look like eventually anyway, but not posting a picture reduces the chances of that ever happening by quite a lot.
3. Do not put your physical characteristics in your description. Every fracking dating site puts that information in a separate part of the page, automatically. Describing yourself should be about your job, your personality, and your interests, not restating the information I can easily glean by glancing one inch to the right.
4. If you have space for 5 pictures, and 3 of them are of you drinking a beer… I might assume that you are an alchoholic. Just saying.
5. Everybody likes to go out sometimes and stay in sometimes. Most even like movies, and a good percentage like to spend time in the great outdoors. What makes you different? If you don’t tell me, I’m going to think… nothing. And move right on.
6. Women are humans! Humans have drama in their lives! It’s part of our condition on this planet. If you don’t want drama, stay home and play pong, but don’t go looking for a date. As a living, breathing, fabulous REAL female, I reserve the right to be dramatic.

Those are off the top of my head. I’m sure there will be more. Men, please pay attention, and your dating experience will be much improved.